Ok, maybe you don’t wanna read this reply, as I’m not as nurturing as others are when it comes to this particular issue (shunning). I realize you have an emotionally rewarding network of people you feel very connected with. But ponder on the following for a moment. You believe these people love you right? (JW's). Then put it to the test. Leave and see who sticks and who don't stick. Chance are, maybe one percent might stick, and that would prolly be optimistic. (I've seen this over and over again.) You’d be right to view it this way.
So, you and I believe in God the same way. We go to the same place of worship. Our kids grow up together. I went to your wedding. I say, "I love you, man", when you need a best friend. But then something happens and you no longer believe in God the same way I do. So what do I do? Do I value our relationship by respecting your choice? Do I show you that I truly love you by standing by you and defending your right to worship God as you see fit? No, I dump you. I throw all that we have and all we will ever have together as friends, away. And why? Were you found out to be a child molester? Was it discovered that you’ve been selling drugs? Did you cheat on your taxes? No. You simply changed your spiritual paradigm. And for this I can no longer have anything to do with you? This is not love. Love doesn’t run off because people evolve in a manner different that expected, albeit a spiritual one. You may find God in another way, or you may decide there is no God at all. But that in and of itself should not destroy a relationship, if the relationship is built on solid ground. This is a middle ages mentality. What you have with your JW colleagues are relationships built on conditions. Your relationships here are based on a Watchtower Society ideology foundation. Sure, we will be your friends as long as you think, act and behave just like us. Otherwise, we won’t be your friends anymore. We will turn our backs on you. We will demonize you to help justify our behavior (Don’t think they wont). And we will say how much we love him, but we will not associate with him until he admits he’s wrong and once again thinks, acts and behaves like us. (Cult)
If this is love, then I’ll pass. But this is not love, no matter how the JW wishes to spin or sugarcoat it. When I left in 1979 I had life long friends who simply vanished overnight. A sister who disowned me and a mother who for years struggled with her love for me vs. her loyalty to the Watchtower Society. Her love for me eventually won out. I have a daughter who is ten years old. If she became a JW, a Moslem, a lesbian, a murderer, I would not shun her. No sir. Because to do that means I never loved her in the first place. And anyone, who tells you they love you and shuns you, is lying, to you and to themselves. They aren’t worth your friendship.
Start over. You still have your whole life ahead you. Many, many relationships can develop. Some will fail and some will succeed. But let those relationships take their course based on genuine strengths (and weaknesses) between each other and not based on common beliefs. There’s’ a huge difference between the two. Staring over is not for the faint of heart. This is why (I believe) so many Jehovah’s Witnesses never leave when it is in the heart to do so, and why they return to the group after they have left. The Watchtower Society has a powerful control over its followers and those who are in power realize this fact and capitalize on it. (Must keep those presses going!)
Be strong and listen to you heart. Follow your true instincts in this matter. Obviously, this is something you have given great consideration. I realize you are also thinking about how this will effect your immediate family. That’s a tough one, but I’d rather teach my children to recognize genuine friendships than allow them to be fooled into the type that are based on faulty conditions.
This is all IMO of course. If anything I have said offends you, I apologize. But I do not apologize for speaking what I believe to be the truth. Truth can be a hard road to follow. But I’d rather find truth on a rocky road, than a bunch lies on a smooth highway. Everyone has to decide their path. I respect yours, whatever it is. Good luck.
Steve Lowry